Sunday, February 14, 2010

Ouch, My Eyes!

Let's turn back the clock to my 8th grade year. During the Christmas Break I had moved from Kansas City to a small town in Central Oregon. I had become acclimated in the culture, and was participating in my usual activities. One of these activities happened to be Little League Baseball. Yes, this does become somewhat relevant in this story.

I underwent LASIK treatment a couple of years ago. Prior to that I did not wear any type of corrective lenses. Part of the reason was due to this incident that occurred in the 8th grade. The other part was because I wasn't a fan of glasses, so I simply chose not to wear them. Not terribly smart thinking, but I preferred to squint throughout the day and not see half of what was being discussed in classes. During the 7th and 8th grades I experimented with using contact lenses. It wasn't terribly successful as the contacts and I never got along well. Some days they would go in effortlessly, but others it would be a struggle. It may have had something to do with the fact that I was later diagnosed with astigmatism. Then again, that could not have been a factor at all. Perhaps I was just inept with contacts. The night before the incident I had worn the contact lenses to play in a baseball game. Supposedly this was a contributing factor to what was to happen the next day. The contacts were the type that were worn for 2 weeks, and removed each evening.

When I first put in my contact lenses that morning it felt a little strange, but that was a typical occurrence. I didn't think much of it, and continued on to school. However, once I reached school my eyes started to become irritated, and my vision was becoming cloudy. It appeared that I was walking in a constant mist. I couldn't see more than a couple feet ahead of me, and everything was incredibly blurry. I actually went through the entire school day not being able to see anything clearly. Honestly, I could not make out the faces of the people a couple feet in front of me.

On the bus ride home, despite the fact that my eyes were still in pain and my vision was not improving, I decided to go over to a friend's house. We exited the bus at his bus stop and proceeded to walk to his abode. Once reaching there it was apparently decided that porn would be viewed on his computer. Looking back, I don't understand why young boys like to get together and watch porn. Now that I think about it, it makes for quite the awkward situation. One cannot comfortably have an erection with another male sitting inches away looking at the same stuff. It all seems pointless. Yet, it happened. However, since I couldn't see very far I was even placing my face right next to the monitor. I was apparently hellbent on viewing this porn regardless of my condition. Eventually, I figured that if I took out the contact lenses perhaps I would have a more clear viewing of this cinematic production. Upon removing the lenses, a stinging pain shot from my eyes. When I shut them, it felt better, but each time I tried to open my eyes this shooting pain would radiate from them. At that point, I decided it might be time to return my home and inform my parents of the situation. I left my friend alone with these videos to do whatever it was he had to do.

Once I returned to my home, I informed my mother of the situation at hand. At this point I had decided to discontinue attempting to open my eyes. It had simply become too painful to continually do. As we went to the doctor's office and entered it, I looked like a young Ray Charles whom had his cane taken away. I held my hands out in front of me with my eyes closed and felt around for door handles and objects that might be in my way. Finally, the doctor was ready to see us. After some tests that involved me actually opening my eyes it was determined that both of my corneas had been scratched by my contact lenses. His theory was the contacts had gotten dirt in them from playing baseball in them the night prior. Then upon placing them back in my eyes the next day that had rubbed against my corneas and scratched them. I suppose that's not an entirely preposterous theory, and I don't have a better idea so I'll stick with that. All that was required was that I place a few eye drops in that evening and keep my eyes rested. Luckily, I was given drops to numb my eyes as well, and I simply went home and slept the night away. By daybreak everything felt normal again, but I don't believe I ever wore contacts again after that day. Thus ended the day in which I watched the cloudiest porn I have ever seen.

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