For this next story we will have to fast forward about 5 years or so. I had just entered junior high school in Kansas City. At that time I had an entirely different personality than I do today. I completely evolved within the span of about 2 years after I had moved to Oregon. This is critical to understanding why I would allow myself to be duped in such a manner.
At the time I was a very shy kid that was always immersed in a book. I had a very serious personality (complete 180 from today) and worked very hard in school. This was likely because I was worried about the consequences if I were to not receive A's down the board. As I would later find out they were not too severe, though getting straight A's was never much of a challenge at that level. Anyway, long story short I was an awkward young child. To go along with this charming personality, I stood at a sturdy 5 feet tall (might be a generous estimate) and was pushing a good 100 lbs. One can safely assume that most young ladies towered over me. Puberty was still somewhere on the horizon, and I'm quite certain 76% of the female population had a lower voice than I did. Needless to say the ladies weren't getting in line to be wooed by this young stallion. I feel it was entirely necessary to explain all of this in order to give some background into this story.
The evening began innocently enough. I was hanging out at home doing whatever it is that a 12 year old does on a school night. Suddenly my private phone line rang. Now why did I have my own phone line in my room? I'm not terribly sure why I had it, as the phone was certainly not blowing up with calls for me. I had a couple buddies that would call it every now and then, but certainly not anything that would require my own line. I've never really been one to talk on the phone much, so I would consider this an error in judgment by the parents. I have diverted a bit off topic, so let's get back to where I left off. I walked swiftly towards the phone and answered the call assuming it was a friend of mine. However, I was shocked to hear that it was in fact the sweet, lovely voice of a female. I was immediately taken aback as this was not a common occurrence for me at the time. "Who could this be?" I wondered.
She stated that her name was Sarah. This did not necessarily narrow down the possibilities much for me, as there seem to be a few Sarahs prancing around the world these days. I was still intrigued and quite frightened that I was on the phone with a female. What should I do in this situation? As my voice crackled into the phone, she explained that she was in my math class and had her very watchful eye on me. "Oh my," I thought to myself. After thinking things through for a few moments I realized there WAS in fact a Sarah in my math class. I had rarely, if ever, spoken to her however. Things were getting very real very quickly.
Panic quickly spread throughout my body as my mind continued to race. How was I to maintain this conversation? Should I bring up a comment about the weather? Perhaps she would have an interest in Goosebumps books as I had quite the wealth of knowledge on the subject. I can't honestly remember what exactly was discussed in the discussion. What I do recall is all this talk of this crush that "Sarah" supposedly had on me and what else. Eventually the banter ended and we parted ways on the telephone.
Later that night, I discussed with a friend this incident of mine that had occurred earlier. Word quickly reached another friend and that is where things turned south. They insisted that we find this girl's number (oh yes, I would not have thought twice to get that during the conversation...I was just focusing on formulating sentences thank you) and give her a call. Now this was all based on the assumption that it was the girl named Sarah from my math class. (Here comes a 90's flash back) We utilized the 3-way calling component on our land lines to contact a source that was friends with said female. He provided the number and we were one step closer. Now, why would I call this Sarah girl to confirm that it was in fact her that had called me earlier? I have no idea. I was a 12 year old with very little logic. I could have certainly waited for class in a couple days and allowed fate to run its course, but this was not the route I chose.
"Sarah's" number was dialed into the phone. My friends would listen on the other line as I spoke with the girl that would answer. I should probably have been suspicious that they were so anxious to listen in, but I suppose it never crept into my mind. They seemed quite supportive of my endeavours, possibly too supportive. A young lady answered the telephone, and immediately I was put to the test. How terribly awkward could I possibly make this call? "Are you the Sarah that called me earlier, and has a crush on me?" I uttered into the phone. It may not have been that exact line, but it might as well have been. "Who is this?" she asked of me in return. I passed along my credentials: name, math class, the works. Sarah seemed very unimpressed with this information, and gave me a big no on the answer. Oh yes, let the humiliation run rampant. I thanked her for her time, and let her be on her way.
I suppose the next time I attended math class could have been more awkward, but I don't see how that could be possible. As the bell rang and I exited the class room, I heard behind me, "Hey, are you the guy that called me this weekend?" Oh yes, it was Sarah amongst a group of her friends. Naturally, since I was not blessed with the ability to effectively lie, I told her it was and giggling was heard behind me as I had turned to walk down the hall.
Shortly after this incident, I moved away so luckily it did not haunt me for years to come. Although they would never confess to the crime, I am still absolutely certain that my ever loyal friends were behind this prank. Twelve year old kids are ruthless I tell you! Thus ends the story of the most awkward telephone conversation that I have ever partaken in, though certainly not the only awkward one I have endured in my day.